4 Powerful Actions to Find Ground

Dec 10

a post-election love note of how to help now

**Indigo Girls**

There's more than one answer to these questions

Story

In recent days, I’ve felt my own grounding slip away at times. That familiar wall of frustration hits: If I just keep thinking this through, it’ll all make sense. But there’s a time for thinking, and there’s a time for dropping into your body to process. There is also a time for meaningful action that restores our inner resilience - and thinking unhelpful thoughts over and over will not accomplish this.

How do we find our ground when we're grappling with questions too vast to be contained by any single story?

The answer lies in practicing the 4 Cs: Connect, Be Curious, Care, and Create. These simple yet powerful actions can help us not only return to presence but also hold space for the complexity of being human.

This post is a love note to all the brave and beautiful people I’ve spoken with over the past few weeks: people who are hurting, in shock or fear, angry, stressed out, or, as many have shared, losing faith in humanity. These are deeply human experiences of pain—ones we’ve all felt at some point in our lives. And as much as I’ve felt my ground shifting, I’ve also felt the powerful pull of community, connection, and creativity. I’m leaning into our miraculous human capacities to heal the divisive, harmful energies that arise from unaddressed pain.

We start with ourselves, examining our internal content. Sometimes there are repeated thoughts from what we’ve encountered in the outside world, and sometimes, if we get still enough to listen, there’s also a voice helping us out.

“We envision a country that protects everyone.”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“Don’t be obnoxious. Get over it.”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“People are trash.”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“I feel safer now that illegal people will be gone.”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“Hold everyone with love.”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“Vaccines will be taken away.”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“The sky isn’t falling.”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“But doesn’t your kid have a medical thing? Doesn’t he need other kids to be vaccinated?”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“Mom, I had such a great day at school! You’re coming to the play, right?

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“Mom, did you know if the ozone hole gets big enough, the Earth ends?”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

“What’s for dinner?”

Breathe. Back to Ground.

Just 12 thoughts…a sample from maybe a 2-hour window. A memory, a text thread, a news story, a speech, a well-meaning family member, a worried friend, a heart deeply held, my child, my partner. On average, we experience 6,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. How do we find our ground when we’re transitioning between these conversations so quickly? When our minds and hearts are spinning, and others are looking to us for wisdom, how do we stay steady?

I love the Indigo Girls, and I’m pretty sure the 1989 album saved my life more than a few times. They give us many clues about how to work through hard emotions and access our inner wisdom in times of conflict, one being that the path of self-development is a winding road and sometimes we need to stop looking for answers outside of ourselves and go within.

“There’s more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
Closer I am to fine”

— Indigo Girls

Anxious thoughts tend to snowball, feeding difficult emotions and activating a nervous system threat response that takes us off our path. While this reaction is perfect for escaping immediate danger (like running from a bear), it’s not helpful when the perceived threat lingers and we’re left in a cycle of hitting the internal panic button. You might recognize this in yourself when your thoughts race or feel repetitive and unhelpful.

When you notice this pattern, it’s time to stop thinking and start feeling. Anxiety thrives on loops of overthinking, but breaking the cycle often means tuning into your emotions and tending to what your body needs. All of the thoughts I shared give me anxiety. When I stop, breathe and use my skills to return to ground, I find a mixed bag of emotions whirling inside. Bringing mindful awareness to my experience the anxiety transforms - I can calm my anxious body (for the most part) while integrating emotions. From there, I have a conscious choice about my next step and whether I will contribute to my healing or add to my pain.

What is the opposite of being present? Numbing, dissociating, disconnecting, avoiding, shutting down, shutting out, or caving to despair—we all know some version of this story. When these moments arise, what can we do to help ourselves return to being? Every way we disconnect from presence takes us out of our true selves, pulling us further from the grounding we so desperately need. On top of that, our bodies hold memories of past suffering, which can compound the weight of what we’re currently experiencing. This layering of pain is draining—precisely when we need our deepest reserves of resilience.

When we feel drained, it’s often because our energy is depleting faster than we can replenish it. This can look like spiraling thoughts, worry, and anxiety—our minds expanding out of control while we lose our sense of ground. Fortunately, there are four powerful actions we can take to help us reconnect and stay present: Connect, Be Curious, Care, and Create. These practices help us not only find our footing but also feel deeply rooted in ourselves once again.

The 4 Things You Can Do Right Now

These are the 4 things I mentioned in my recent podcast with the Earth & Spirit Center, hosted by NPR.

Connect

We are not meant to do this world alone. Connection is the antidote to the isolation, fear, and disconnection that can consume us in moments like these.

Start Small: Begin with people who feel safe and loving. These relationships can help you rebuild emotional resilience before stepping into spaces where you feel less connected.
Expand Gradually: While connecting with others who see the world differently might feel daunting, it’s essential for healing the broader divides we face.
Why it Matters: As one of my teachers says, “Connection is the cure.” It creates a foundation for mutual understanding and shared humanity. It is the opposite of the disconnection sown by hate.

Be Curious

Curiosity is a mindful practice that invites presence and awareness. It allows us to soften our panic and fear by opening to questions rather than judgments.

The Science of Curiosity: Your brain cannot hold both panic and curiosity at the same time. When you step into curiosity, you give your body and mind a signal to pause, breathe, and reengage your prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for rational decision-making.
Practice Curiosity: Ask yourself, “What is happening right now?” or “What can I learn from this moment?” These questions bring clarity and calm.
Why it Matters: Curiosity breaks the loop of fear and opens space for understanding and compassion. If we are safe enough to be curious, then our body can understand we are not in a moment of immediate threat and start to calm.

Care

Care starts with yourself but doesn’t end there. It’s about fostering compassion for both your internal experience and the shared experience of those around you.

Self-Care: Acknowledge your emotions without judgment. As I often say to clients, “We’re not trying to get rid of fear. Instead, we mindfully witness it and hold it with compassion.” This allows us to see the message and take meaningful action without becoming overwhelmed by fear.
Other-Care: From a place of self-compassion, extend care to others. This could mean checking in on a friend, offering support, or simply being present.
Why it Matters: Care builds the bridge from fear to love, within ourselves and in our communities. It also helps to prevent depression and despair.

Create

When fear and despair threaten to overwhelm us, creation can be a way forward. It might be as simple as creating space for dialogue or as profound as creating art, systems, or solutions for a better world. Any act of creation helps us to move forward and embrace the natural human condition of change.

Small Creations: Write a journal entry, plant something, or cook a meal. These acts ground you in the present moment. In our home, Legos also work.
Larger Creations: Use your voice and skills to contribute to the kind of world you want to live in. Reflect on your gifts and how you can use them.
Why it Matters: Creation is a choice to live in love, not fear. As I shared in the podcast, even if the world were to “go up in flames,” I would rather go out creating love than shutting down in fear.

As humans, we are wired to protect ourselves in times of uncertainty, often through fear or control. This can look like overthinking, overworking, shutting down, shutting out, losing our ground. But true healing and progress require something different: finding our ground - a willingness to show up authentically, connect deeply, and create courageously.

Breathe, Back to Ground.

I invite you to try these four practices in your life today. Together, we can navigate the complexities of this moment with love, hope, and mindful action.

Shelly

Grounding for me: time in nature with my family, meditating, attending a conference with a good friend, being in a vulnerable podcast conversation with a really cool and ethical human, and roasting veggies.

Podcast Episode: Shelly Sowell on Navigating the Post-Election World

This post was inspired by my beautiful conversation with Kyle Kramer, Director of ESC in Louisville.

Concept

How do we find our ground when we're grappling with questions too vast to be contained by any single story?" The answer lies in practicing the 4 Cs: Connect, Be Curious, Care, and Create. These simple yet powerful actions can help us not only return to presence but also hold space for the complexity of being human.