The Opportunity of Winter Solstice

Dec 20

Finding Healing in Light and Dark

**Mirian Greenspan**

Finding the power of the sacred, not despite suffering, but in the midst of it: This is the alchemy of dark emotions.

Story

A Time to Pause

Last night I was wrapped in blankets, cuddled up in the dark with my little family, only the glow of our TV and the riveting Marvel Multiverse. I could feel my rhythmic heart, the warmth of our bodies, hear the gentle breathing of my loved ones as we allowed time to stop and focused on Captain America like he’s a beacon of hope in a world gone mad.

There’s something comforting about being nestled in the dark of night, the dark of home, in the basement deep in the ground. For my normally expansive sensory self, it’s a relief to narrow my focus to just this moment. But this experience also stands in sharp contrast to previous years, when my child was younger and we were navigating health issues. Back then, winter nights felt like waiting for Orcs to descend the Misty Mountains, knowing the doctor’s office was closed and our only option was the downtown ER at the Children’s Hospital. (Yes, my world is STEM, LOTR, Marvel—and this English major loves every second of it.)

I’m keenly aware of the complexity woven into our cultural definitions, associations, and uses of "darkness." My purpose with this post, on the eve of the Winter Solstice, is to spark a conversation about the virtues of darkness—not just its difficulties. Yet everywhere I turn, the messages from the outside world frame it as a battle between light and dark.

This time of year, I hear so many stories of people fearing the dark and rushing toward the light. But in my work, both professionally and spiritually, I’ve come to understand that darkness is just as valuable as light. It isn’t inherently evil or synonymous with suffering, despite how our culture often portrays it. Both darkness and light hold beauty and the potential for destruction. Finding balance between their healthy aspects is where healing begins and where we grow.

Honoring the Solstice

We are in the slow days of the winter solstice, the Northern Hemisphere’s honoring of light returning within the season of darkness. The winter solstice marks the longest night of the year and the promise of the sun’s return. Many cultures throughout time have variations on this theme, from practical farmers praying for the sun to grow their crops to religions celebrating enlightened prophets. Everyday people have risen to moments of selflessness, love, and compassion, uniting around the common theme of light in darkness.

Across the globe, cultures celebrate the interplay of light and dark. Hanukkah, the Jewish Festival of Lights, commemorates resilience and miracles, with each candle lit symbolizing hope in the face of adversity. In India, Diwali, though celebrated earlier in the year, similarly honors the triumph of light over darkness and good over evil. Scandinavian traditions mark Yule with bonfires and candles, while in Japan, celebrations such as Toji involve lighting candles and soaking in hot baths to welcome the return of longer days. These rituals show a universal human longing to embrace light as an antidote to darkness.

This reminds me of winter during the early years of COVID. Many neighbors put up extra lights and left them up until March, a loving gesture of bringing light and joy to a time of uncertainty. Reaching for light is one of the most beautiful and natural things humans have done for perhaps all of our existence. We grow with light, attributing it to love, compassion, understanding, and peace—the best of humanity.

Rethinking Darkness

When we find ourselves in darkness—whether physical or metaphorical—our instinct is to reach for the light. This reaction is deeply rooted in our biology and human history. Darkness has long been associated with harm and danger. At our most primitive level, we are wired to assess, prepare, and fight potential threats, with fear as the primary emotion driving this process.

In the literal dark, our vision is limited; it becomes harder to see what’s coming. For early humans, this meant vulnerability to predators like mountain lions, whose night vision gave them an advantage. Over time, we projected these survival fears onto darkness itself, shaping cultural narratives where deception, harm, and danger lurk in the shadows.

But darkness is not inherently evil, nor is it simply a metaphor for suffering. Can we expand our perspective to hold multiple meanings of darkness? Can we recognize our human projections and honor darkness not just as something to fear but as a space for rest, wisdom, and growth?

The Nourishing Dark

This season of long nights invites reflection on the balance between light and dark. Historically, humans have feared darkness—often associating it with evil or danger—but darkness also heals and nourishes. As Roshi Joan Halifax calls it, the "fruitful darkness" fosters growth, like nutrient-rich soil feeding roots. Imagine that you are a tree, deep roots reaching for the dark underground stabilizing foundation, so that your trunk can be strong and secure, while your healthy branches blossom and reach towards the sun. It’s a complete system of nourishment and the tree would not exist without the ground. I encourage people to incorporate practices (some create rituals) for nourishing their foundation. The holidays or holy days mentioned from various cultures are examples of people creating rituals for nourishing, reflecting, gratitude, connection and opening to their light.

I come back to my little family in the dark for movie night, connecting with each other, resting peacefully, and finding joy. It reminds me of the many beautiful nourishing rituals people have shared that incorporate the dark.

The accountant who prays in the dark of early morning accompanied by a fire and his sweet cat,

the mother who meditates in the dark of her child’s room while they fall into safe slumber,

the child who takes joy in night walks to see the stars while holding his father’s hand,

the monk who awakens at 4 a.m. to be present in the quiet soulful dark,

the scholar who hikes to remote mountainous places to wake in the early dawn and be with the final moments of darkness before day emerges,

the CEO who goes to her quiet room to reflect once a day and release the stressors of leadership,

the holy person who sits with the dying through their safe passage of death’s darkness.

In all of these examples, you can find the balance of light to help the nourishing dark—the fire, the stars, the sun, the Self, the relationship, the belief. The fruitful darkness and light hold each other as each person practices the balance between ground and expansion.

The Healing Dark

Darkness can soothe our frantic energies, allow us to deeply rest and restore our bodies at night, and quiet our minds. We were created in a dark, nurturing womb. Being in the dark was our first place of receiving what we needed to become human. Darkness can be an opportunity for reflection, healing, and transformation. I know that when my clients start to cultivate their witness and they can hold space for the darker moments of their lives with compassion and curiosity, then their transformative moment is not far off. Our traumas, the moments where they could not see or were blinded with pain, do not want to be held in our bodies. The body/mind/self needs the wisdom, the teachings from suffering, but we do not need to hold on to the body memory in order to grow. One of my favorite books is Miriam Greenspan’s Healing Through the Dark Emotions. She offers historical context and a psychological frame for moving grief, fear, and despair into actionable wisdom and integrated relief.

“Finding the power of the sacred, not despite suffering, but in the midst of it: This is the alchemy of dark emotions. Through this alchemy, grief moves us from sorrow for what we’ve lost to gratitude for what remains. Fear of life’s fragility is transformed to the joy of living fully, with openness. And even despair becomes the ground of resilient faith - not just an opiate for our pain, but a profound commitment to life as it is.”

— Miriam Greenspan, Healing through the Dark Emotions: The Wisdom of Grief, Fear, and Despair

What do you need to move your pain into wisdom? What reflective space, resources and supports could help you transmute your suffering? The quiet and space of the dark can help us to go inward and listen deeply to ourselves. But we never have to do that alone. Reaching out to those who can help support is a big part of nourishing ourselves.

The Metaphor of Darkness as Suffering

I get it - when we can’t see, when times are uncertain, when we struggle with mental health, when harm is occurring that feels out of control, to say we are in darkness makes total sense. In moments of great pain and suffering, we want to see a way out, we want to be enlightened with hope, we want the relief of healing that comes with the clarity of awareness, and have leaders who hold a light of character to help steady our world. One of my favorite quotes is from Martin Luther King Jr., "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that". He delivered this line in his 1957 sermon "Loving Your Enemies" at the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church in my hometown of Montgomery, Alabama.

You could add that ignorance can’t heal ignorance, or privileged narcissistic behavior can’t fix what privileged narcissistic behavior has created. It goes on - darkness is a powerful, immediately relatable metaphor that invokes a feeling of fear that we know and want to find a solution for. This is helpful as a motivator for healing, but the metaphor has also been used to control.

Darkness has long been wielded as a tool of oppression. For example, the concept of “sin” has often been used as a weapon of control, distorting its original meaning. As feminist theologian Meggan Watterson explains, the Greek word for sin translates to “missing the mark”—a disconnection from our purpose and worthiness. This disconnection has been exploited by leaders to enforce dependence on external authority rather than fostering personal growth and alignment in a supportive community of healing.

History offers many examples of lighter-skinned people oppressing those with darker skin by perpetuating propaganda that associates darkness with evil. These power and control tactics are abusive and have deeply scarred our collective consciousness. DoSomething.Org has a thoughtful and well-resourced guide on the history of colorism and what you can do about it.

But this kind of darkness is not inherent. It often stems from profound, unintegrated pain and trauma, which disconnect us from our inner light. When I posed the question, “What disconnects us from our light?” to my amazing high school students, they offered poignant answers: busyness, dopamine-triggering distractions, fear, materialism, and the pressure to achieve. These forces create a cycle of disconnection, both from ourselves and each other. When we wield ‘darkness’ from our unhealed pain, we tend to attack the worthiness of others (also turning on ourselves with a vicious internal critic).

When worth is tied solely to a definition of success or productivity set by a dominant, privileged few, we lose sight of our shared humanity. This disconnection not only perpetuates individual suffering but also feeds systems of harm, making acts like war and exploitation easier to justify. Recognizing this, we can begin to repair the divide—reclaiming balance, compassion, and the light within ourselves that leads to meaningful connection and healing.

Too Much Light?

As we’ve recently been reminded through Galinda’s journey 🙂, too much light without the balance of grounding and introspection can be nauseating at best and harmful at worst. This is the territory of toxic positivity—a desperate clinging to positivity that dismisses the suffering within ourselves and others. Similarly, spiritual bypassing emerges when we chase every possible spiritual pursuit while ignoring the work of addressing our own issues. And let’s be real—everyone has issues.

When someone is stuck in relentlessly "being the light" or chasing the light, it can feel oppressive, dismissive, or invalidating to those around them. The pursuit of light without balance misses the wisdom and authenticity that come from engaging with our shadow selves, our struggles, and the reality of life’s complexities.

The Opportunity of Solstice

Winter solstice reminds us that there is a space where light and dark hold each other in balance, nurturing both reflection and action as a personal goal that is independent of the darkness we assign to fear. The dark of solstice is from nature, not our human assignment of pain. This growth-filled space can celebrate the darkest night of winter, not only for the return of light but also with gratitude for the wisdom and the opportunity for transformation that the dark, internal hours can bring. Imagine the chrysalis stage of the butterfly as essential to the metamorphosis. We can acknowledge a BOTH/AND for dark and light - we would not have one without the other. We can honor how far we’ve come in our personal healing and all the challenges we’ve faced. We can lean in to grieving the pain of this world, knowing that acknowledging that pain gives us depth and greater compassion. We can hold with gratitude our loved ones and those who have supported our journey and helped us battle the Orcs. :) And all of this amounts to building our muscles for inner resilience to not only face this world, but to operate within it with courage, creative possibility, and meaningful action. Embracing the dark actually helps us know how to shine our lights.

Reflection Questions

What is resonating with you from this post?

What does the nourishing and healing dark look like for you now?

What do you need?

How can you be like the tree?

May this solstice bring you peace. May you honor your journey and embody our inherent worthiness and interconnectedness, fostering peace and abundance for all.

Shelly

A favorite winter spot in a park I love.

Concept

Our culture often skips over the darkness of this time of year and rushes to the light. But there are virtues in the dark that help us to transform our suffering into profound wisdom and world-changing healing. I hope this post helps you distinguish types of darkness and embrace the nourishing and healing potential in this time of year.