Working with Fear in a Big World Moment

Nov 4

How to move fear into meaningful action and wisdom

**Pema Chödrön**

“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.”

Story

Is this election keeping you up at night? I know it’s got me waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes with worry, sometimes anxiety, and sometimes it’s all out fear. Around 3 a.m., the haze of sleep begins to lift and like a dam breaking, all the thoughts are ready to rush through the pass triggering my poor limbic system into a state of panic.

“What if ________ happens?”

“How long do we have with climate change?”

“Will my kid have to go to war?”

“What if that 0.0001% chance happens, and I get pregnant at 47 years old with no medical options for the decisions I might need to make to stay healthy and alive?”

Yes, my anxiety fear thoughts get super specific and ALL ABOUT ME. (That last fear was a real treat at 3:37 a.m.). But how do I know which part is just anxiety and which part is a deeper emotional experience of fear?

Anxiety, Fear, or Both?

There are lots of great articles circulating about election anxiety. It’s real, and I’m grateful people are talking about it. I am adding to the conversation by exploring the role of fear and how we can work with it. There are times when we’re doing our best, practicing every anxiety skill we’ve learned or find on Tik Tok, and still we’re suffering because something deep is getting activated that needs more than a breathing skill. Fear needs our conscious attention.

Anxiety is a physiological response to internal and external stressors accumulating in the mind/body. It’s a warning shot, an indicator that something is off. It is future-focused and manifests in our thoughts and/or body responses. Often anxiety is a blanket emotion, covering up more nuanced feelings that we are possibly avoiding, blocking, or having difficulty processing. It's that uneasy, tense feeling that arises when we’re anticipating something difficult or unknown. It can also be a natural reaction to stress, like when we’re about to give a speech or when facing a tough challenge with unknown variables.

But anxiety differs from fear. Fear is our response to a specific, immediate threat we can see or recognize in the moment. Fear is also a trauma response when we’re experiencing something in the moment that reminds our system of the suffering experienced in our past. Our intelligent mind/body pulls old files for what we’ve encountered in order to work with the overwhelming waves of fear that are trying to prepare us for effective safety. Yet, even though fear and anxiety are rooted in different kinds of threats, they show up in our bodies in similar ways—our heart races, our muscles tense, and we feel on high alert.

I’m writing this post in response to the many parents who reached out after my previous post on supporting kids and teens during the election process. Many shared their own struggles with intense feelings about what’s happening, asking what they could do.

The Role of Fear in Our Culture

While the information on election anxiety is invaluable—and we acknowledge the significant anxiety many are experiencing—I also want to highlight the role of fear. There is a lot we’re genuinely afraid of right now. It’s not a hypothetical future scenario; it’s happening in real-time. Our way of life, health and well-being, and even our very safety are being threatened daily by those who are supposed to protect us. That’s a lot to process.

A dear friend recently reminded me of the Pema Chödrön quote…. “You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” But what happens when the clouds turn into thunderstorms and just park or you have tornadoes running loose?

Fear is essential to our survival—it’s our built-in radar for distinguishing true threats from safety, wired into us at the most primal level. Fear, as it shows up in the body, is a fascinating and protective force. At its core, it’s meant to help us survive immediate dangers by putting us into survival mode when needed. But fear is only meant to get us through a specific situation, not to be the place we live from every day.

Unfortunately, we now exist in a society where our fears are constantly triggered by a consumer-driven, capitalist system, where a nation's 'health' is measured by how much we’re spending. When materialism becomes the standard of success, we’re left vulnerable to endless messages of “not enough,” pushing us to constantly strive for more, to catch up, or to live up to an impossible ideal.

Worse still, our systems are unprepared to address a reality where people in power intentionally exploit our deep, primal fears for personal gain. This global power structure often promotes narcissistic, self-preserving behavior rooted in scarcity and greed, benefiting a privileged few at the expense of the many. As a result, we’re constantly exposed to news, advertising, and social media that steadily fuel our fear. This constant fear-based messaging contributes to violence in our communities and fractures our world. We see the impact in our distrust of others, our focus on self-preservation, and our tendency to 'otherize' entire groups of people.

When our fear gets activated by an outside force intentionally working to manipulate us, we can lose our agency, swim in self-doubt and are more likely to participate in groupthink. Think about news pundits telling us tons of people are killing babies, rallies where a politician is leading a chant to hurt people, media headlines that focus on the worst-case scenario as click-bait, social media companies allowing the spread of disinformation, etc. Fear exploited by people and systems with power is trapping humanity in a cycle of power and control that limits our lives, harms our relationships, and ultimately damages the world around us.

But there is another way. We have firmly entered the age of psychological awareness and emotional intelligence. We can work with our inner fear to foster wisdom. And we can use our skills to step out of the cycle of cultural fear and make choices that about connection, well-being, global solutions and ultimately, love.

To review…we can recognize that as humans we:

Experience fear in order to learn and keep ourselves safe

Have outside forces triggering our fear response

Have legitimate reasons to feel fear

And we can also recognize:

We’re not meant to stay stuck in fear

We can contribute to ending fear cycles in our culture

We also have legitimate reasons to feel hope

Let’s get back to our Pema Chödrön sky analogy. What does it mean to watch the storm and help it move through, as we continue to be the sky? We can identify and honor our fear, we can begin to metabolize it, transforming it into fuel for positive action and a life filled with meaning and purpose. By integrating fear, we acknowledge the seriousness of what’s happening while envisioning and working toward a world where inclusive safety is possible.

Moving from Contracted Fear to Open Awareness

Back to 3:37 a.m.—I was suddenly overwhelmed by unhelpful thoughts, like fearing I might get pregnant and experience complications. I recognized this as anxiety—an unlikely, future-oriented worry. But as I sat with the feeling, I realized I was actually carrying a lot of deeper, real fears, like the uncertainty around election outcomes and concerns about the protection and safety of women. This was fear—an emotional response to very real concerns. After recognizing I was safe in the present, I got up, had some water, and reset.

As I returned to bed, I allowed myself to feel my full range of emotions and brought my attention to how my body felt supported by the mattress. I began breathing to calm my system, honoring my sadness and fear while opening to a larger perspective. My awareness expanded as I thought of all the incredible people I know working toward a more just, fair world. I pictured empowered women taking meaningful action, mothers holding their children close, men showing up as allies, organizations fighting for women’s rights, and friends who stand in protest for change. I could see all the good happening around me and remembered that there are many ways I, too, can help—like writing this blog.

Fear makes us contract into ourselves and can force our attention to an acute situation, one detail of a bigger picture. If a bear were charging at you, fear would drive you to act without hesitation. But what if the threat isn’t immediate danger? What if it’s a court decision affecting your job, a regulation impacting your child’s medication, or a financial strain on your family? Our modern fears often aren’t about immediate survival, yet our brain may react as if they are. We might contract into our own experience and miss out on opportunities for empathy and connection that could help us feel better. By calming our system and expanding our awareness, we release the grip and urgency of fear and begin to see a much bigger picture with many more possibilities.

Modern fears are often more psychological and include emotional imprints from a wide range of fearful experiences. We could be connecting the dots on a threat. We could be feeling that something is off. We could also be pulling from our past with old hurts and traumas getting activated. A key to dissipating and understanding modern fear is to engage with it. When people ask for help processing their recurring nightmares, I have the client go back to the dream while in the safety of our session and see the moment the “monster” comes. We then place a table with tea for two in the room and invite the “monster” to sit calmly and share its message. We don’t need it keep generating fear when we listen deeply to what our mind/body is telling us. Clients will hear something helpful in this process to help them move forward. Old, deep fear becomes workable when we create safe space to be with what is scary. This space also helps us disentangle past patterns/experiences from present-moment concerns.

Working with Fear: From Pain to Purpose

I want you to know that fear is normal and workable. However, my first note here is about trauma. I tell clients, that with some traumatic experiences, all bets are off. Don’t try to apply general self-help to every circumstance, especially major traumatic situations. There are certainly circumstances that are beyond our control, yet cause us immense suffering. If your pain is too big for you to work with, you are so not alone! Please know that mental health professionals who are trained in trauma know how to help you. It’s not on you to do that alone.

If you feel ready to work with your fear, here are a few frames for understanding how to work with it.

Fear is Natural—But Getting Stuck Amplifies Pain
Fear is as natural as breathing, especially in uncertain times. It’s not wrong or unjustified to feel it, but the issue arises when fear takes control, amplifying pain rather than allowing us to move forward. Working with fear means acknowledging it, understanding it, and finding ways to transform it into a source of strength and meaningful action. This process is both an inner response, grounded in awareness, and an outer response, where we take small actions that bring us a sense of relief or progress.

The Importance of Somatic Skills

Our bodies play a crucial role in how we experience and process fear. When we’re flooded with fear, sometimes it’s because old experiences or trauma stored in our bodies are being triggered. Somatic skills—techniques that engage our bodies in feeling, moving, and releasing fear—are essential tools for grounding ourselves. These practices can help us settle our nervous system, especially when fear is chronic or difficult to regulate. Here is an article on Medium about a workshop I recently co-facilitated on Somatic Interventions. Here are free somatic practices from Johns Hopkins Medicine.

Reclaiming Power in the Face of Fear and Powerlessness

Fear often brings a sense of powerlessness with it. When we feel out of control, fear seems to grow stronger. One of the best ways to shift this dynamic is to reconnect with our bodies and authentic control—not control over events or others, but a sense of agency over our own responses and choices. This could be as simple as tuning into our bodies through mindful movement, journaling, sharing our story, or it could be as big as joining a movement, running for a government office, stepping into a leadership position. Establishing a personal practice—even small acts like gentle stretches before bed—can help reclaim a sense of grounded control, right where we are. Reclaiming power could also be participating in a protest, sharing your story with others, or advocating for social change.

Grounding in Community

Sometimes, gathering with others who are also seeking a sense of groundedness is a powerful way to dissolve fear. Community practices can strengthen resilience and help motivate us to grow. Find your people and gather. I will be hanging out with my therapist friends the day after the election, as well as teaching at a school. Just being together with good people for any reason can be enough to stop waves of fear and help us gain perspective.

Understanding Our Fear Without Adding to It

One of the most challenging parts of working with fear is that we don’t have to intensify it in order to understand it. We have fear “programmed” into our bodies from past experiences, almost like a stored memory that reactivates when we’re feeling threatened. But if we only amplify that fear instead of trying to understand it, we may remain stuck in the cycle without gaining any new insights. In safe, secure moments, if we begin to listen to our bodies and let them release stored tension, we can start calming down, which in turn allows us to see our fearful thoughts with greater clarity.

Fear Lacks Nuance, but Curiosity Adds Depth

Fear is often blunt—it doesn’t do nuance well. It sees threats and can make us hyper-focused on what could go wrong. In these moments, adopting a mindset of curiosity can be a helpful counterbalance. When fear arises, try asking yourself questions: Where do I feel this in my body? What might this feeling want me to pay attention to? Sometimes, a curious approach can transform fear from something overwhelming into something we can understand and work with.

When Fear Becomes Fuel (But Not Trauma)

It’s worth noting that fear can sometimes serve as fuel. It can motivate us to take action or respond to situations with urgency and focus. However, there’s a difference between productive fear and the kind of fear that’s rooted in trauma or collective stress. Traumatic fear can get activated in our bodies on a deep level, especially when we’re attuned to collective experiences of anxiety or threat. Recognizing when fear has shifted from being motivational to overwhelming can help us decide if we need to pause, reconnect with our bodies, or seek out a grounding practice to ease the intensity.

Steps to Work with Fear in the Moment

When Fear Arises:

Get to safety. Ensure you’re safe enough in the moment to allow yourself to feel fear as a feeling.
Assess your need for safety. Identify the type and level of safety needed for the immediate moment.
Acknowledge the feeling of fear. Notice how your body and mind are responding.
Use grounding skills. Bring yourself back to the present and calm your nervous system.
Take time for reflection. Consider what your fear is trying to tell you and what meaningful action might support you.

Final Note

I hope you have found this post useful! We are at a pivotal moment on our planet and we each have a personal decision to make around acting from fear or love. My favorite quote on fear came from my husband (who got it from our therapist, who probably got it from some old, sage, guru situation): “Fear may scare you, but it cannot hurt you.” When we step back to see the things we are scared of and reflect on their meaning, I believe we do make choices out of a place of love. We have more compassion for ourselves and our situation and we can then extend that compassion to others. What would a world filled with love rather than fear look like, feel like, be like?

Happy Election Day!

Shelly

Concept

I’m writing this post in response to the many parents who reached out after my previous post on supporting kids and teens during the election process. Many shared their own struggles with intense feelings about what’s happening, asking what they could do. We are in a moment of not just anxiety, but also fear. Fear is workable and this post offers tools to help. We can identify and honor our fear, we can begin to metabolize it, transforming it into fuel for positive action and a life filled with meaning and purpose.