What Do You Need Right Now?

Mar 20

NAVIGATING GROWTH, HEALING, & CARE IN THIS SEASON OF LIFE

Mary Oliver

**Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?**

Story

Do you feel something emerging that is new in your life? Or something old asking to be confronted and transformed? It’s time for something to change—but how do you know what you’re ready for? Is that change something in your environment, or is it within you? Often, it’s both.

I get calls weekly with people knowing they want change, but not knowing exactly where to start. In this post, I’ve created a starting point for this inquiry of how we care for ourselves. At the end you will find a chart for brainstorming ideas, sparking conversations and helping you create an action plan for your own care and wellbeing.

We begin knowing what we need by asking what season of life we are in. We all go through seasons of struggle when life feels overwhelming and we’re simply trying to get by. Other times, we’re energized, motivated, and yearning for something more. Energy ebbs and flows—that’s part of being human. As spring awakens, those of us in the Northern Hemisphere are reminded of the start-stop-restart energy of emergence.

A wise friend recently reminded me that we see the beautiful flower opening in the warmth of sunnier days, but do we notice—do we honor—how much energy it takes for the seed to sprout? To receive nutrients from the earth, to push for growth up through the soil, to rise, and finally, to bloom? Meaning, we might get bursts of energy and then wonder why we’re tired this time of year as our bodies are adjusting to a big seasonal shift.

On a contemplative note, perhaps this is why so many ancient teachings remind us to be more like flowers—lilies of the field and all that. If we can let go of resistance, of our old stories, of the ways we limit ourselves, and simply be, we align with a natural impulse toward healing and opening. Even with that alignment, growth requires a conscious effort and an understanding of the shaping by the life conditions and relationships that have developed us. Being human is messy. We must actively work through the tangled, challenging parts of our experience to heal, create space, and allow our own system to help us thrive.

We are in a lifelong process of challenge and growth—one that includes our conscious mind weighing in, making meaning, and working things out. The question is: Do we have the skills and support we need for that process?

Some challenges happen to us, beyond our control. Others are shaped by our responses, patterns, and choices—and here, in this second space, we have more power than we may realize. Growth isn’t just about striving for something better; it’s also about learning to meet ourselves with care, compassion, and curiosity. The goal is never perfection, it is all about wholeness. Welcoming our whole self home.

We build a mindful life by consciously engaging in our growth, proactively working with the suffering and challenges that come simply because we’re human. (No one escapes this.) Spring, the season of emergence and growth, is a beautiful time to pause and reflect on your life and what you need - what you want to heal and how you’re ready to grow.

A Path of Care and Growth

Wherever you are right now, there’s a path forward. Understanding what you need can help you take the next step toward well-being. Let’s say you're at a point of change. Maybe someone suggested therapy, or you heard a coach speak at work about stress reduction. Perhaps your aunt mentioned a friend who opened a yoga studio, or maybe you’ve stared at the self-help section of your local bookstore. With so many options, it’s hard to know what you need for the moment you’re in.

I created a chart (included at end of post) to get you started with identifying your needs and how to meet them. This chart can’t possibly cover every option or path, but I invite you to use it as a starting point for getting closer to what you need.

Here’s a summary of the categories:

CRISIS

In the Storm — When life feels overwhelming and chaotic, your most urgent need is stability and grounding. Simple, immediate practices that restore safety and calm can help you begin to regain balance. Often when we’re in a crisis moment, we need outside support to help us regain a sense of ground. That could be a friend or family member, but it could also be a healthcare professional or community.

STABILIZING

Finding Steady Ground — During and/or after a period of intense stress or crisis, we often need intentional efforts to re-establish a foundation of our mental/emotional state. We want to get back to a baseline level of functioning where we can rest, regain our resilience, and begin small choices that help us feel safe and connected.

COPING

Getting Through — When you’re managing but still feeling stretched, focus on building simple habits and reliable routines to strengthen your foundation. Small wins create momentum. You may be operating from survival mode, but you can begin to enjoy life and function on a daily basis.

MANAGING

Building Strength — As your stability improves, developing new skills, exploring deeper self-care, and reconnecting to your values can help you feel stronger and more aligned. This stage provides relief from survival mode and creates space for reflecting on the bigger picture and creating meaning.

ADAPTING

Engaged Growth — With a solid foundation and consistent use of wellbeing skills, you can start to expand your capacity — welcoming change, exploring creativity, and deepening relationships with yourself and others. You have generally moved from survival mode and scarcity mindset into a space of feeling empowered in your daily ability to create healing and growth in your life. This is a growth-oriented way of being that extends from individual wellbeing into relationships and community.

TRANSFORMING

Proactive Thriving — This is the space of thriving — when you feel connected, purposeful, and inspired to share your gifts with the world. In this state, you actively cultivate a meaningful life. You get intentional with time to process the past, cultivate the present, and vision the future. This doesn’t mean you are perfect or never missing a goal - proactive thriving is about our intentions and our priorities, as well us tapping into our wisdom. We see and feel the interconnectedness of life and we actively participate in the awe, wonder and possibility of the world around us.