Build a Mindful Life

Sep 27

Why more than ever we need our lives to be connected and meaningful.

Walden Pond

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately...”
― **Henry David Thoreau**

Story

Last night probably wouldn’t be considered extraordinary by many people…but for this recovering anxious achiever, it was epic. I was slowly cooking a healthy, delicious dinner in my green tech pans while taking in the details of my kid’s day. He ran off to build an articulated hand model on his 3D printer, an endeavor that has already taught him more about science than all of my high school years combined. Then we relaxed with popcorn on the couch and laughed for 2 hours while watching Guardians of the Galaxy. I was able to enjoy several hours of deep connection with my kid because I have a smartphone that allows me to operate my entire business in the palm of my hand. And I was able to order groceries through an app rather than spending forever at the store. I also ended work early because AI helped me write a letter in 30 seconds that would have taken me hours. And I could kick back while my clothes and dishes quickly washed in very smart machines. No long hours standing in the sun, pinning clothes to a line, or later ironing them. Our modern world continues to amaze me. But it requires us to use these advances wisely and step into a new level of consciously creating a life that holds onto our humanity.

I’m aware of how last night could have gone differently - extra work time allowing me to finish one more project, rushed tasty take-out, “being productive” answering emails on my phone while allowing my kid’s tech time to go on a bit too long, checking news while the movie is playing. Distracted, extended, numbed out, hyper-connected to tech - we know those days too. It’s too easy to pile things on, to keep on working, to load the schedule with all the things we’re supposed to do in order to be the people we’re supposed to be. We can quickly get caught in a cycle of “not enoughness” and “never done”. But as I said to a group of judges last week, government employees the week before, and doctors the week before that, life is always going to be in motion and the work will keep coming. WE have to be the ones to set boundaries for our own well-being. The world is now connected 24/7 and it will continue to be wide open with need and possibility. WE are in charge of figuring out how we want to live and implementing practices based on our values.

What Does It Mean to Build a Mindful Life?

In today’s complex, fast-paced, anxiety-normalized world, the idea of building a mindful life feels more essential than ever. But what does it actually mean? At its core, building a mindful life is about cultivating compassionate awareness in every aspect of our being—physically, psychologically, and energetically - and moving that awareness into meaningful action in our world. It's not just about slowing down; it’s about engaging with life more fully, paying attention to how we show up for ourselves and others, and creating space where we can thrive, internally and externally.

Why Build a Mindful Life?

As a psychotherapist, mindfulness educator, and well-being coach for over 20 years, I’ve had a front-row seat to the profound suffering we experience on individual, communal, and global levels. Three words I keep coming back to: connected, sustainable, and inspired. I think it's because I witness how the stress of a constant do-er culture forces disconnection—both within ourselves and in our relationships. We feel pressure to build lives that are unsustainable in the name of some bigger conditioned version of success, then feel like failures when we don’t do it all/have it all (btw…impossible). We also tend to quickly let go of the parts of life that truly inspire us in the name of “not enough time”. We’re ditching our natural stress-mitigators and meaning-making capacities in favor of packing life full of….what?

What we’re doing is not working.

We’re at epidemic levels of anxiety and depression, addiction, and loneliness/isolation. We’re conditioned to push until we collapse, numb out, and then believe we’re crazy and need medication.

There is another way. We can build a life intentionally that may feel like it’s going against the grain, but please remember only 50 years ago we weren’t expected to email or text someone back immediately. We had time to integrate our daily experience. While I see (and also experience) the stress and strain of our modern world, I’m also privileged to witness the beauty, depth, and richness of the human experience when we love ourselves and others, consciously create vibrant, generative lives filled with purpose, and carve out space and time to be present to the awe and wonder of this world.

Where Do I Start?

So we start here, Mindfully Building a LIFE with Connection, Sustainability, and Inspiration - medicine for restoring what has been lost in modern busyness and cultivating a healthy life.

Connected: To build a life that we experience as meaningful, we need connection—to ourselves, to others, and to something greater than us. This connection allows us to be present, and to cultivate self-love and healthy relationships.
Sustainable: Life isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. Living mindfully means creating practices and routines that are sustainable, not just quick fixes. When we make choices aligned with our values we foster long-term growth and well-being.
Inspired: Without inspiration, life can feel dull and directionless. To inspire - to breathe life into - keeps us energized, motivated, and open to new possibilities, fueling our journey toward wholeness and meaning.

When we create health in these 3 areas, we build our capacity for resilience and overall well-being.

How Do We Build a Mindful Life?

The "how" of building a mindful life involves working with three essential layers of the human experience: the physical, psychological, and energetic. These layers work in tandem, and while we may want to level them, they are all equally important and interwoven.

Physical: This layer involves our bodies and our environment - the physical world. We take care of our bodies through movement, rest, and nourishment. It’s the foundation upon which everything else is built. Tending to our physical health creates opportunities for our whole self to flourish. Our physical space is the material world we have stewardship over. When we bring order where we can and make our outer world manageable, we can better relax into presence.

Psychological: Our internal thoughts, emotions, and mental patterns shape how we interact with the world. Through healing and growth work, we can become more aware of these patterns, allowing us to release the past, be grounded in the present, and intentionally create a vision for the future. The original Greek word psyche refers to the non-physical aspects of being human, including the soul. Interestingly, psyche also means butterfly, a powerful symbol of transformation across many cultures.

Energetic: This less tangible layer is just as vital. It refers to the flow of energy within and around us—our sense of vitality, intuition, and emotional resonance. Practices like mindfulness, yoga, or time in nature can help us align our energy and connect with the larger forces at play in our lives. Dan Siegel, psychiatrist and author of Mindsight, explains energy to be what animates life, as both an embodied and relational experience.

The beauty of this process is that we start where we can, with what we can. Each mindful intervention—whether it’s physical, psychological, or energetic—impacts the whole being and, I believe, the whole world. By building a mindful life, we don’t just transform ourselves; we contribute to a more conscious, compassionate, and interconnected world.

Meeting the Challenges of Modern Life

Our support must equal our challenges if we are to thrive. We’re living in an unprecedented time, where humans have never before experienced this level of stimulation, content overload, and global connection. The busyness of modern life has skyrocketed, while our time to integrate these experiences has decreased, leaving many of us without adequate strategies for managing emotional, mental, and communal well-being.

To meet the demands of this world, we must increase our skills in mindfulness, relationship building, self-awareness, healthy life management, and mental health.

The Beauty of a Human Life

I believe in us. I believe in the beauty and transformational power of a human life. When we have the support, space, and skills to be deeply present with who we are, life opens up, and our inner wisdom flows. Mindful Well-Being cultivates this presence, and it all starts with connection—to ourselves and to others.

Mindful awareness provides the foundation for finding our ground and seeing our lives with clarity and perspective. Building a Mindful Life means compassionately exploring (and maybe even embracing) the messy ground of being human in order to create more connected, sustainable, and inspired lives.

Join Me

I remind myself daily, and I want to remind you: life is more than busyness. We deserve our birthright of joy, calm, awe, wonder, healthy relationships, self-love, and a deep connection to life. The present moment is where we find our sanity and where our energy flows from a balanced mind/body/spirit. Yet the busyness of life can quickly pull us away from that state. We get stuck in the past—what we could have or should have done—or we live for the future, thinking, "One day, I’ll be happy when...". But these stuck places can create anxiety and drain our energy. We need to remember that this version of life is recent, and while we can embrace all the goodness modern advances in technology have brought, we also have the agency to make healthy choices and place boundaries on the world coming in. Many of us even have resources, internally and externally, to help others who may not be so fortunate.

I invite you to join me in Building a Mindful Life—reflecting on who you are, what you need, and how you want to care for your beautiful life. Also how you want to embrace your gifts to leave this planet a better place. When we transform ourselves, we change the world.

Thank you for visiting my little corner of the Universe. I hope you find something here that helps. Check out my blog with free resources and practices, and if this feels like a fit for you, please sign up for my newsletter. It’s monthly and very low-key. Soon I’ll be releasing courses because I know not everyone has access to therapy and coaching. I’ve been waking up each day, slowly doing what I can where I can to help out. Remember each journey is one small step at a time. Often the best answer is to pause, breathe, and do the next right thing in front of us. And I know when we have a Northstar of operating from our wholeness and Building a Mindful Life, these small steps accumulate into something powerful, beautiful, and good in this world.

Thank you for diving into this post.

May you be well.

Shelly

Stepping Stones for Building a Mindful Life

Concept

Building a Mindful Life is about cultivating compassionate awareness in every aspect of our being—physically, psychologically, and energetically - and moving that awareness into meaningful action in our world. It's not just about slowing down; it’s about engaging with life more fully, paying attention to how we show up for ourselves and others, and creating space where we can thrive, internally and externally.